you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
Randomize
