I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Randomize
