Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
I just want nice things and good sex
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize