TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Randomize
