Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Randomize
