Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
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