Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
being pregnant is like rehab
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
