So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
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