U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
