My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
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