Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
We need to rekindle our bromance
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
