DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
