She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
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