don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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