Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
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