how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
Tornado booty call.. dedication
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Randomize
