allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
Randomize
