I think im going to throw up on grandma
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Randomize
