Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
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