She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize