I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
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