We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
my god I love twenty year old dicks
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
I woke up under a house in Key West
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