I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
