Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
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