Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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