Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
Randomize
