I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
