Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Randomize
