It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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