that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
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