it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
Randomize