one two three fourrrrnication!
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
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