:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Randomize
