We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Randomize
