They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize