I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
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