Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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