I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
