when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
Randomize
