i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
Randomize
