Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
