be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Randomize
