we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
