Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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