It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
That reminds me...we need to get swords
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
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