I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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