He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize