It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Randomize
