i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
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