Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
Randomize
