she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
