ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
