My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
