new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
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