Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
Randomize
