4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
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