Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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