I CAN MOONWALK!
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
My life is pants optional.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
