you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
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