dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
Randomize
