I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Randomize
