Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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